imagine you’re walking down the hall of the apartment you and calum shared. the shower is running and you can hear his voice filling your home. he was singing with the boys at an acoustic show today and had been telling you all week how nervous he was for this one. you stand outside the bathroom door listening to him practice his lines of amnesia over and over again.
i do not own any of the audio in this post
omg if you own a speaker play this with it cuz it sounds 349240 times more amazing and realistic
#my life in 5 words, 14 letters, and one bracketed action
so it was my brother’s thirteenth birthday today and he came home from school with this horror-struck expression on his face and came into my room and sort of just stood there
and i asked him “what’s wrong?”
and he said “MY GIRLFRIEND HUGGED ME AND SAID HAPPY BIRTHDAY”
and i was like “well that’s good isn’t it?”
and then he came closer and just whispered, really quietly “no you don’t understand i said happy birthday BACK”
im still laughing oH FUCK
I WANT EVERYONE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THIS REALEST SHIT
There’s a difference between wanting to change your body to improve and strengthen it and wanting to change your body because you hate it. It’s important to know the difference because one of those will destroy you from the inside out.
I laughed so hard no sound came out
"Some women like pretty girls" said the prettiest girl in Westeros to the other prettiest girl in Westeros.
He was a skater goat, he said see you later, goat.
HE WASN’T GOAT ENOUGH FOR HERD
The only nail polish for me
omg okay so one time (i think it was sophomore year) i was sitting in class and my teacher, out of no where, says “i can see your bra strap through your shirt hanna” and i looked down and you literally couldn’t see it unless you were blatantly staring at my chest so i said, “well i can’t” and he says “you need to go change your shirt” and i said i didnt have another shirt so hes like then go home and i had a burning hatred for this teacher
i still dobecause it was like he went out of his way everyday to piss me off so i stood up and took off my bra under my shirt, dropped it on the floor next to my desk and sat down.
i was suspended for a week.
this is the most amazing thing I have ever read. I swear to god this gives me life.